helpdesks calls

Tech support : What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Customer : Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support : Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer : Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support : That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer : No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support : Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer : Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support : Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer : Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer : Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer : I have problems printing in red...
Tech support : Do you have a color printer?
Customer : Aaaah....... ......... ....thank you.
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Tech support : What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer : A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer : My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support : Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer : No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support : Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer : OK!
Tech support : Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer : Yes
Tech support : That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer : Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
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Tech support : Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer : Is that 7 in capital letters ?
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Customer : can't get on the Internet.
Tech support : Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer : Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support : Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer : Five stars.
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Tech support : What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer : Netscape.
Tech support : That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer : Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer : I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support : How may I help you?
Customer : I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support : OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer : Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support : Are you running it under windows?
Customer : No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
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Tech support : "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time... That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer : I don 't have a P.
Tech support : On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer : What do you mean?
Tech support : "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer : I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT