surviving....

i'm okay...
i want to believe i am...
but everytime i think about my daughter i can't help but cry...
as a mother,all i want for her is to be happy and i know somehow in any point of her life i'm succesful in doing that...
but one thing that hurt me most and i know that i can't give her is the family that she wants...
no matter how hard i try,things can't work out between me and her father...
i just can't understand things...
i just can't invest too much feelings for him,not anymore...
but everytime that we were in the point of saying goodbyes to each other,i questioned myself...
is this really goodbye?or just like the other goodbyes that we had and after a couple of months we get back on each others arms again...
how will i explain everything to my daughter? i know that my love and my attention is not enough to fill the position as a father to her...
do i love him? the answer is no..and i am not willing to accept everything on him,his flaws,his mistakes,his past everything about him...
it's very tough...but i have to move on with or without him...
for me and for my daughter's to survive...
to get back the life that we lost...
and most especially for us to be happy...
happy????
am not...
when???
how???
dunno???
one thing is for sure,i know i will survive,i have to....